THE SIN OF COMPARISON

I'm sorry I am slacking on this site as of late. You could attribute that to the holiday season, cold weather or the food coma hangover from Thanksgiving. I'm sure all three of these are playing a role, but there's something else that has been weighing heavily on my mind. I sat up late last night in bed having many conversations with the mister. About our future plans, jobs, work out and eating routines, you name it. But the truth of the matter is, I'm sad. I love my life, I really do. I love my husband, I love my family, I love being back in my hometown, and I love this time of year with so many happy, festive movies playing repeatedly on the TV. I'm not sure what it is but lately I have just found myself obsessing over comparing every little bit of my life to those around me. And I can't help but think that I'm doing everything wrong. I'm working out so hard but see no changes. I see some of my friends with such incredible careers, chasing after their goals and making them happen and I'm just sitting on this couch. I see younger couples than me having babies with no second thoughts. Girls with effortless wardrobes. Elaborate weddings. Crafting skills. Upbeat and constant facebook statutes, tweets, instagram photos, blog posts. Don't get me wrong, I'm not naive. I know these people have their own worries, concerns and insecurities. Life is constantly changing for everyone and bringing those personal challenges for us to overcome, to be refined and made better and stronger. I guess this is just mine and right now I'm sinking. I feel like I have no direction or motivation. I wish I could magically be skinnier, in shape, a little bit taller. I wish I could just want a baby without thinking of all those scary needles, doctors visits, labor, lack of sleep, not getting to accomplish things that I've always wanted to do (but know that most of them won't really happen...but what if). I wish I could have a whole new wardrobe without dollar bills floating around my head. I wish I could get married every day (to Eric of course) with all of these pretty new dresses coming out and reliving that moment where everything is perfect and all eyes are on you. I wish I could have the desire to make my home a winter wonderland of DIY projects. I wish I could go outside and take pictures of every aspect of my life so I could share my own pictures on this site for once. I wish I could be one of those people who can constantly exude happiness 24/7.

The sin of comparison is so damaging to the spirit. And the worst is I'm doing it to myself. No one is pressuring me to compare, to not be happy for those who are happy. Who knows, maybe I just have to give myself a good cry and will be well. Just getting this out on my online journal here already has me gasping for air above the water, and those first breaths are relieving. I have faith that everything will happen on it's own time. All the things I truly desire will come right when they need to. For now it's all about choice, and I choose to be happy - one step at a time.

137 comments:

  1. I know what you mean! I think everyone compares.. even the ones that seem the happiest compare to others, and probably a lot of your readers wish they had a smidgen of what you have! When I was in college i wanted a Bf so bad I got one , the best one and have kids and now i want to be in college again haha! terrible! Thank God He is gracious towards me and gives me hope in all my troubles regardless of the size!!

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  2. Dear TJ,

    This was so honest and probably touches all of our hearts because we all have gone through phases like these. Right?! There must be something in the air,though, because many of my friends and myself included have been feeling the same exact things you described above.

    The only thing that has helped me out has been talking to my mom and friends about what's going on inside me and having a good old cry-fest. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having one or maybe two of those ;).

    Remember, this too shall pass!
    Just hang in there!
    You are marvelous just the way you are!

    Love,

    R

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  3. This is beautiful, girl. If I was your neighbor, I'd bring us over some cinnamon roll Ben & Jerry's, pop in P.S. I love you, have a good cry and we'd be over it :) I so often find myself in the position you are talking about. Please know that YOU are beautiful, loved and have so much purpose in this life.

    Praying for you :)

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  4. What a beautiful post, I really needed to read this, I can relate so much. You're lovely <3

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  5. So deep... is the feeling within us... perhaps you're comparing yourself with wrong people...? I often feel like this, like the time is slipping through my fingers and I am not quite achieving what other have already way before me... but then I think of those with nothing, those who's life is being snatched away by illness, all those who have less than me, and all that I don't have or did not yet achieve suddenly feels irrelevant.

    You are one bright beautiful young lady with life ahead of you! I hope the blues go away and you see the light of things again. : )xxx

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  6. I think that everyone can relate to this so much. I hope you at least can know that you're not alone. :hug:

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  7. I'm pretty sure you just said everything I wanted to say but couldn't just a few months ago. It is not a fun place to be and I know how overwhelming it can feel. From my experience though, life marches on and you wake up one day with the realization that things aren't so bad. Sometimes it helps to just take a step back and disconnect for a bit. The internet (and blogging) can often be more damaging than constructive. Remember, you're loved just the way you are!

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  8. So, you writing this may have been God's kick in the pants for me. I was literally just comparing certain aspects of my life to another person, and feeling pretty cruddy about my own lack of accomplishments and ambitions, and yours was the first blog to load in my reader. "The Sin of Comparison". Ouch. I was tempted to not even read it, but am actually thankful that I did. You, my dear friend, are not alone, and that makes me not alone. Thankful for your honesty today. xo

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  9. TJ I know exactly how you feel. Last year I was finding myself sad alllll the time, I couldn't shake it. I think that no matter how many times I stood in the shower crying, I never felt better. Then Mark and I moved up here to Olympia and I found myself surrounded with amazing women. Women that asked how they could pray for me and called to hang out all the time....it made me feel better about myself, like I had something to offer these other people...it felt great, try to find positive people to hang out with, tell them your worries...let people pray over you! Ask them to! I'll be keeping you in my prayers TJ.

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  10. Your last line says it all, TJ - one day at a time do we make the CHOICE whether or not to be happy. Life does want to "get" us but it's up to us to decide how we see that life. You are doing just fine. Don't doubt it. :)

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  11. All I can say is, YES, I totally relate. Several months back (and occasionally, I still feel it on a day-to-day basis), I get me a bad case of the envies. I even wrote a blog post about it too:

    http://autodidacticambitions.blogspot.com/2012/08/thoughts-on-not-wanting-to-want.html

    One thing that really helped me (although it was hard) was to rid myself of the things that were causing me to commit the sin of comparison the most (namely, Pinterest and certain blogs and magazines). After I stopped using those things so much, I discovered that I felt a lot better about everything. Now, whenever I start feeling those tendencies creep up again, I know that I need to "fast" from certain things and feed myself with other things--scriptures, family time, reading good books, etc.

    Hope you feel better soon--I think you're wonderful just as you are! :)

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  12. These words just about changed my life.. Ready? "Comparison is the thief of joy." It's such a profound statement. Comparison is the thief of joy - it steals our joy, dampens our spirits, makes us blind to our blessings as we only look to others. That being said, I still do it. We all do. Don't feel like you have to "fight through this" or "wait for it to pass". Sit in your feelings, allow yourself to feel them, and trust that you can find peace. xoxo

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    1. This quote is so very true! I'll definitely be remembering this! Thank you for sharing this with me, girl :)

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    2. "Comparison is the theif of joy" Oh My Oh My Oh My!!! I will be quoting you Kerry on this one.

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  13. I wish we can hang out sister girl!! I so know where you are coming from. It can be easy to get caught up, isnt it!! For me, right now, its the whole pregnancy thing. Most times its good but I have my few moments where I am wishing that I am the one who is sending out the baby announcements and celebrating having a baby! bleh. Its wierd to go through the feelings of comparison to know the good (from knowing the bad). You deserve to treat yourself better!! Try to think positive my friend and yes, choose happiness!! xXOXOXOx

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  14. I know exactly how you feel. Keep your head up, girl. xo

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  15. this exact issue is something I've really been working on with myself to overcome. I applaud you for writing about it publicly. When I was going through the bulk of it (I've gotten a lot better) it was hard for me to admit I compared myself to other felt less adequate. Exposing insecurity was the last thing I wanted. About a year ago I made it my mission to make happiness my goal daily, I did little meaningless things just because they made me happy. It all added up to a bigger picture. Keep pushing through, love!

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  16. I feel this way quite often too- you’re not alone (you’re just brave enough to admit and blog about it!) Sometimes it hurts to see less-deserving people get things that you try and work so hard for. I just try to see the things that I have that they DON’T- the truth is, they probably compare themselves to you and wish they were more like you in that aspect. I think all girls wish we were prettier, thinner, curvier, whatever- it’s in our DNA! Haha I’d say focus on your traits that you love and others wish they had- you have a successful blog, a great man and family, and you are pretty!
    Life Unsweetened

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  17. You are so not alone in your struggle.
    I think so many of us women (especially us bloggers for some reason) get pretty wrapped up in comparing ourselves to others.
    The funny part of it all is, as we're comparing ourselves to others, there are so many comparing themselves to us.
    It's really an ugly habit that I wish I could say I've overcome in my own personal life.
    There are just days when I have comparison parties like crazy...
    and then other days I'm just thrilled to be me.
    I hope you get out of your slump soon!

    PS
    You're beautiful just the way you are!

    ((hugs))

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  18. To say I can relate to this post would be an understatement. There are so many platforms for us to share our lives with one another that it can be so overwhelming, and it's inevitable that we will compare ourselves to these happy go lucky folks. It's certainly defeating at times and a real buzz kill. Try to remember to keep your head up and that there are people who are envious of your life, they just don't have the guts to write it out for others to see :)

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  19. Hi babe, cheer up. Don't ever compare yourself to others, it's really bad for the soul and does more harm than good. You're living a beautiful life now, and most importantly, we get to spend time with our loved ones everyday. Hope you'll feel better soon :))

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  20. Comparison is the worst and even though I know it, I still do it. Especially with having a blog it can be so difficult! But I love this post. So honest. I think it's important to really put everything in perspective constantly. :)

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  21. choose to be happy :) we have all been there before girl - you got this!

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  22. I think this has to be one of my favorite blog posts ever. Lately I've been feeling the same way. Between feeling stuck in my career and not following my dreams to seeing everyone around me get married. I'm no where near marriage so I tend to get envious of them. After the envy fades, I start thinking somethings not right with my life. I keep on having to realize that it really isn't something I want right now. It's helping me get through it. I know you'll be fine, just gotta keep pushing through and think positive.

    www.pinsneedlesfashion.blogspot.com

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  23. Beautiful and real. Thank-you for sharing your struggle.. When you share yours I believe it encourages all of us that have the same issues to 'girl up' and remember the beauty behind life...!

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  24. I can't tell you how often I've done (and still do) this! I see so many people that have careers, and are buying their homes, and starting families and I'm sad that my husband and I aren't there yet. But I take comfort in knowing that my husband and I are taking steps to get there, prayerfully and thoughtfully, instead of competing and doing it when we're not quite ready. I think we all do this at one point or another, but know that you're amazing, God has a plan, and you've got a great man to walk through this journey of life with. xo Emily

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  25. This is a wonderful truly honest post and so relatable as I'm currently feeling the exact same thing, stay strong and thanks for showing that we're not alone :) Charlotte xx

    http://charlotte-hannah92.blogspot.co.uk/

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  26. I can completely relate to this.. I'm constantly comparing myself to others and wondering 'what if'.. I hope you feel happier soon. You have a wonderful blog if that helps at all, yours is one of the few i go out of my way to read every time there's a new post xx

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  27. TJ, I totally know how you feel. I have struggled with this FOREVER still do. I love how honest you are on here! Love it. XO
    E

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  28. Aw, we all have these moments. It's natural to feel that way, I've totally been there. You're right, no one's life is perfect and it's always nicer looking in from the outside. I once watched a TED video about happiness. You should watch it. It pretty much changed my way of thinking.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJsdqxnZb0

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  29. thank you for this post. i find myself comparing myself to others all the time. i see all our friends (who granted got married before us) having babies left and right, and i wonder if i'll ever feel totally financially ready for a baby! it's scary. also i feel like we're trying so hard to save and not getting anywhere bc big out of nowhere bills keep cropping up (flooded basement, minor car accident, etc). i try realy hard to be thankful, bc i know we have so much more than a lot of people - but it's hard not to get sucked into the comparison game. esp with body image, that's one a big one for me! it's nice to hear others struggle with this too..not bc i want others to struggle, just to feel less alone in it! we just need all keep thinking positive and be thankful for what we have, because no one can be the same as us. we need to just focus on ourselves and be happy with what we've got because what we've got is pretty great, right? right!). :)

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  30. Thank you so much for sharing. I think we are all guilty of it. One thing I try to remember is there is probably someone(s) comparing themselves to you. (And in your case I can guarantee this to be true.) xo

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  31. Taylor, I am so glad you opened your heart and said this. I too, have been feeling this way - mostly because I'm dealing with a lot if change. All good change, since I just got married to a wonderful man who provides for me and my daughter. But I miss my family. I live in a totally new state where I don't know many people and places are unfamiliar. I totally get what you're going through. Just remember that you are an amazing person who obviously is surrounded by lots if love and support. Times will get tough, but you have your husband and your family to lean on!

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  32. just so you know--i think you're great.

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  33. I wish I could give you a big ole hug right now!! This is something we're all guilty of from time to time. I have been feeling the exact same way lately. I never sent out the birth announcements I worked so hard to create after my son was born because I was suffering from post partum and now I'm getting beautiful ones. Sounds silly but it does eat at me. Along with how there other people out there with perfect little families and mine isn't so. We shouldn't focus on those things but it gets so hard sometimes. We should be thankful for the little things (jobs, roofs over our heads and the beautiful people in our lives, etc.) that matter the most. I hope you start feeling better soon! I love your blog and thank you so much for sharing this!

    xo
    Rachel

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  34. I am glad you had the guts to write this. You are Definately not alone! Sometimes I compare myself so much I loose sight of who I am. My great achievements! Your a great person and I bet every thing I own your mr thinks nobody compares to you! Your one of a kind own it :)
    ( I'm off to try and take some of my own advise ;) )

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  35. happens to everyone. comparison is a joy stealer! don't let it take your joy!

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  36. This was beautifully honest...and something that EVERYONE can relate to. I'll be calling you soon :) Xoxo

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  37. hey girl, let me just tell you that i struggle with this on a DAILY basis. its normal for you to have anxiety from time to time (sometimes longer than others) but if its starting to take over your day to day routine....you might want to talk to someone. i'm having similar feelings about my life (was quitting my job and heading to south america the smartest decision???......) i think its just being in our twenties. if i've learned anything in my ripe old age of 27, its that NOTHING GOES AS PLANNED! god has a plan for you, you just have to ride the waves. i think you're doing pretty good :)

    xo the egg out west.

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  38. I feel like I'm in the same boat as you right now. Nearly every sentence in the first paragraph I agreed with.

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  39. It's so true what they say--comparison is a thief to joy. Imagine how many people are reading this and agreeing with you--feeling the same way. Imagine how many people are looking at you & wishing they could be as skinny, beautiful, have as many friends, blog comments as you!
    I think the answer is exactly what you did--writing about it, sharing it, getting it off your chest and making an attempt to seize joy every day. They also say that admitting is half the battle.
    Prayers & hugs for you, awesome girl! Thanks for being so humble & honest.
    xoxo!

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  40. I think we can definitely all relate, in our own ways. Comparison is deadly. Especially when you're in the blog world and everyone's lives seem soooo picture perfect on paper that it just doesn't seem fair. But just know that there is a plan for you, and you will get there, and it will find you even if you haven't found it yet! I hope things look up soon and just remember, you have a team of readers behind you who want nothing but the best for you! That's pretty significant in itself. People love to hear what you have to say.

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  41. We are all so guilty of this and it's so sad we put ourselves through it. The craziest part is that while we're busy comparing ourselves to everyone else, most of those people are busy comparing themselves to us! I wrote a post similar to this recently: http://dashiloupe.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/you-dont-see-what-i-see.html

    You lose a clear perception of yourself in comparisons. The clearest perception is that of the people who love you most, so always keep that in mind. And most importantly, do whatever it is that makes YOU HAPPY.

    Beautiful post TJ. Chin up. You're wonderful xx

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  42. Oh sweetie! As everyone else has said EVERYBODY goes through this. Winter makes me feel the same too as well as feeling tired and unmotivated so I know exactly what you mean. The best thing to remember is that you are a gorgeous woman with a wonderful husband and a fantastic blog. Aaaaand I hope you feel better soon! xoxo

    http://www.jenventure.blogspot.co.uk

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  43. this post is so honest and true- i love it. I do the same thing and try not to. I deleted my Facebook a while back and it was one of the best things I did. I know now seems like a crazy time, but I like to think that in a few years we will be exactly where we should be and so happy we waited to have babies etc.

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  44. This is one of the things that is hardest for me too. I especially compare myself to all these wonderful ladies who have fabulous blogs and seem to have fabulous lives too! It is difficult to keep things in perspective. But I can totally relate to you TJ and I think you ARE fabulous. :) Just keep loving people and you'll remember how great you are too.

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  45. thank you for always being so honest, tj. i think this is what blogging's all about- sharing our thoughts and knowing we're not alone. its so hard not to compare when blogs/pintrest/instragram everything is telling us to. i've been so uncertain about the future this year and like you, im trusting that the right path will come along when the timing is right, and im choosing to be joyous of all the things that surround me. xoxo!!

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  46. Oh hon. :-(

    I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling sad and I wish I could help in some way. I totally understand, though. I mean, these are the growing pains of the 20s. Hell, I'm 27 and I still definitely feel it...

    ...in fact just recently I had a big ol' cry in front of Yogi, à la "What have I done with my life / I was supposed to BE somebody career-wise by now / when I was an overachiever in high school teachers used to tell my mama I was so bright and capable that I could be a doctor or a lawyer or anything in the world / I'm languishing in a job that's just MEH / what is my purpose in this life? / I feel like a failure!"

    Rinse, lather, repeat.

    And so, as I wailed and ranted and raved, my lovely boy listened and comforted me and hugged me and said all the right things, even though those right things he said, well, I didn't wanna hear then 'cause I was just feeling sorry for myself.

    Anyway, I'm reevaluating stuff now, thinking about where I want to take my life professionally...I simultaneously have answers and I don't have them. It's frustrating but...most things of that ilk are.

    And remember: nobody expects you to be perfect...except you. We all at one point or another demand perfection from ourselves because...well, because we know what we're capable of and we don't want to squander that. And then when we're not doing stuff, or not doing it within the phantom timeframe we've set out for ourselves, it's like, "Well, how much do I suck?"

    Be kind to yourself, and know that you're fantastic and will get even more so as the years go by, God willing health.

    xxo

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  47. Take heart TJ, I think it is apart of the human condition to compare. Sometimes we all live by sight or what we think we can't see. I know that I have struggled with this very thing many times.
    Proverbs 16:3 has been an encouraging verse to me. It reminds me to commit everything to God. In Him lies the true source of contentment for me. And that is a place where comparison dies. Praying for you lady. :)

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  48. my best advice: cry it out and sleep it off.

    then wake up, count your blessings, smile even when you don't want to, and pray for the confirmation that you are important to Him and He loves you just the way you are.

    xoxo

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  49. i have never commented here and have only recently started reading your blog. i feel like you just looked into my mind and took exactly what i have been feeling for awhile now and put it into words. i am so terrible at comparing myself to others all of the time. i love my life as well and all of the people in it but sometimes i just feel sad. that i should be something more, but i dont know what that something more is. i am currently finishing my last year of university and am ready for a change. but i am scared that the change might not be what i have been looking for. it is nice reading these thoughts of yours, to see that there are other people that share the same feelings.

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  50. oh! TJ I'm so sad to be reading this because I've been there too, I think we all at some point, but the good thing is that it's just a phase, salt and pepper of life and with the holidays coming soon I'm sure you'll get through it :)
    thanks for sharing I'm sure it felt good to get it out of your system.

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  51. This such a touching message. I can relate to you in so many ways! In college I met my twin. She and I were so close and shared the same life goals. We both moved out to the city and chased our dream jobs. I met the hubs and after a lot of talking we decided that we would try and start a family. And that when that happens I would be a stay at home. At first I saw my dream job slipping away. And it was so hard to watch the former love of my life disappear. But I guess I realized that the new love of my life was so much more important and that was okay.

    And effortless clothing and looking amazing, girlie you have no idea! I think everyone feels that way! Even the super skinny well dressed girls in their perfect wedding dress. And just so you know... you are definitely one of those beautiful women who people love to read their blog because of their absolutely fabulous life! Seriously!

    xo

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  52. What a wonderful and thought-provoking post. I have literally unfreinded people on facebook because they always compare. It's very damaging indeed. I think it's better to focus on your own goals rather than always looking around other other people's.

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  53. I absolutely, 100%, know exactly how you feel. For what it's worth, I think your life seems fantastic but I know what it's like to constantly compare yourself to others. Try to focus on the good stuff and I find that eventually the negative feelings pass and you'll be back on track. :-)

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  54. I do this ALL OF THE time. It's so easy to put yourself down especially when things are not going well. Thanks for this post. I'm glad that it's not just me.

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  55. I really needed to read this. I feel like you took these words right out of my own head. This is one of the biggest challenges that I find that comes with being a blogger- comparison, and even a lack of honesty. Thanks for posting this. It's very honest and I needed to read this.

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  56. Oh, tj. <3 I'm sorry you feel this way! I wish I could give you a hug...hang in there. I'm sure it'll pass. :) I know the feeling...
    xx

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  57. I hope you cheer up soon. It's always a bummer to feel this way, especially if I'm already in a bad mood. Comparing yourself to others sucks.

    http://www.teenyhippie.com/

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  58. I hope with the amount of comments you're getting that you see a glimmer of hope through the sadness. I am actually right there with you, even with all the upbeat comments and instagrams shared and taken, I'm sitting up hours after the hubs went to sleep because I kind of really dislike everything about my life [besides him] right now. And it's just sad. So you have one commiserating blog-friend here. You'd be my first actually, and though we may never speak in person you should know you have a world of online friends and I count myself among them. Keep looking to the light, you'll see it eventually.

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  59. I think most people can relate to this feeling, but just remember that while you're feeling down comparing yourself to others, someone else is wishing for your lot in life. My mum taught me that when I was young and I never believed her, but it was true. I spent years in high school, wishing I could be cooler and lots of girls told me years later that they wanted to be more like me. I was shocked. But I realised that things always look different from the outside. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your post. Hope you're feeling a bit better about things soon. x

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  60. Thanks for being so honest. I often feel the same way, but I also try my hardest to think positive. I feel like negative thoughts bring on negative feelings, and from there it's just a downhill fall. What you are feeling is totally natural and we have all been there. I hope that things get better for you. Nice to have you back!

    xo
    JIN

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  61. Oh this is the worst kind of rut to get into :( i feel like i get into this type of mood once a quarter, right on the dot. It's like you're happy one moment, and then the next you have this dark cloud hanging over you, and it's as if the rose colored glasses got knocked off your nose and you realize everything sucks. But just like you said, it takes one step at a time to shake it off! it's just a mood and your perspective at the moment. you know your life isn't lame, you just expect more out of yourself! maybe start little goals and projects, and once you accomplish more and more you'll start feeling better :)

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  62. i know how you feel. once upon a time i was just straight up depressed. and it wasn't so much that i was comparing myself to other people, rather i just held myself to such a high standard that i was under that pressure alllll of the time. and sadness is addicting. it really is. it is human nature to feel this way, too. life has its ups and downs and ins and outs. but i was at the point where i wanted to do everything i could to "feel better" and "be me" again. same thing as you, i was working out with no results, tired all of the time, sad, numb, the works. so i got my hormone levels checked and have been taking a progesterone supplement to balance them out, overtime they have been regulated and i am so so happy! again, i know people are different and not one thing magically works for everyone, but i just thought i would leave my two cents here just in case. (i hope this wasn't too preachy!) sending love your way.

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  63. Hey! This is a really honest post, and I'm really grateful that you wrote something like this. I find myself doing the exact same thing lately, especially because my husband and I won't be able to spend Christmas together this year and we're so sad about it! I have to remind myself to count my blessings and not get caught up in that cycle of comparisons... I do have a lot to be thankful for even though life isn't perfect all the time. It's funny but sometimes a good cry is all it takes to get everything back in perspective! Hope you feel better :)

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  64. Tanya,

    My heart goes out to you so much. I can't tell you how long I felt the exact same feelings you have described here. There were a lot of low moments this past year, a lot of days where I was in a bad mood for no reason other than feeling sorry for myself. Many nights came and went (often times night after night) of me lying in bed crying. Curtis every night would tell me the same thing, "Then do something about it! Stop crying about it and make a change!" One night it finally struck a cord with me and the next day I sent an email. Sometimes tough love is what you need from those who love you the most.
    I emailed Jessica Kettle actually. I've always admired her, and felt that she would be good person for advice. She gave me good advice and told me to just jump in head first and not to look back! It was that email that really started motivating me to make some serious changes.

    I work at Discover Card Tanya. I've worked there for 5 and a half years. While it's a good job and it's been a good thing for me and Curtis, I'm definitely not proud to say I work there. For some reason I felt some insane desire to have a job that I had always wanted. A job where I could be creative and still make money, and one I would be excited to tell people about. We all read blogs, and while I love blogs, sometimes they really can be terrible for us. I would read blogs, and see how talented all of these women are and I just kept asking, "Why can't I be like that?" And there I would sit, browsing the web doing nothing other than envying those I had always admired. Envying their "glamourous" lives and jobs. I'd compare, think there was nothing I could contribute that wasn't already being done.

    That one day, when I finally decided to do something changed my whole perspective on life. My whole view completely changed. I look back on all of the time I wasted before and wondered why I didn't decide to do this sooner. I felt stuck in the life I had, worried about the money it would cost to start a business, worried that I wouldn't be able to be profitable, that it would fail, that I would suck, that no one would hire me, the list goes on. The reality is, life is hard. Doing anything worth doing is going to be hard. But dammit! It's so worth it!
    I can't tell you how much better I feel about my productivity. After I graduated I felt really worthless. I had all of this extra time and all I was doing with it was watching Gossip Girl on netflix and browsing the internet for clothes I couldn't afford. It got so bad that I pretty much knew J. Crew and Anthropologie's inventory like I designed them all myself! My husband even expressed his concerns on various occasions about my spare time, and he basically begged me to find a hobby. Nothing drives Curtis more crazy than wasting time and unproductivity.

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  65. (continued)
    I'm not as worried about the little things that I would constantly worry about. Your focus goes from being inward to outward just like that. Your thoughts and energy move towards something productive as opposed to feeling sorry for yourself. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself when I should have just bucked up and made a change.
    Tanya, you are beautiful and talented. I always love your blog posts, your wit, your style posts. It's all so beautiful. There are hundreds of girls who read your blog and wish they could be you! Wish they could be as pretty, stylish, talented as you are. You are incredible! And you will find your something! It's all going to work out exactly as it's intended. Sometimes you really have to hit a wall to knock you out of it. I did! I wish I could explain how many nights I drove home from working bawling on the phone with my mom. She would calm me down until bed time and thinking about work would start the water works again!
    Man life is hard sometimes, just know I think the world of you! I think your incredible, and beautiful and you deserve the best there is! It will happen. I just need you to know I've thought all of these things for a very, very long time, and it's only just recently that I have tried hard to pull myself out of it. The adversary is working hard! It's easy to get caught up in these things.

    You are loved lady! Wow, this is the longest comment ever. Ha!

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    1. This comment was the longest thing every... and I loved every minute of it! I have just admired you so much for starting up your floral business. You are incredibly talented and just too perfect! It's true, sometimes that tough love is all we need to really get that motivation burning within us. I feel like I've been bumping into that wall a lot lately and I'm ready to turn the other direction and keep walking. I feel like no one ever prepares you when you get older for all the confusion you will feel. You think growing up you will graduate high school, go to college, get an amazing job, get married, have a family and all will be well. No one warned us that no jobs were out there and that if there are you may be confused on what you really want to do with it anyway. I know there are jobs that I could have but nothing that interests me. I guess that's all about the journey. Figuring out myself and what I like to do. I'm so grateful you found your special something that you are absolutely incredible at. Hope I find mine soon ;)

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    2. You will lady. I know, man life sucks sometimes! I hate the feeling you are feeling, and then you move into a different stage and figure out what you want to do, and then you face more challenges and struggles! Life is a process, but every step really does serve its purpose. Love you!

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  66. Along with so many of the comments above- I've been where you have been too, it's hard not to compare, be envious and wish you had more money, clothes, time, looked differently, etc. If you're feeling overwhelmed write down in a list what is making you feel that why and on the other side right what makes you happy and brings you joy.

    I hope this helps!

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  67. You had me in tears because I sometimes feel like this. I can't say that I have a cure because God knows I don't. BUT sometimes it helps me to make a long list of the things I am so lucky to have. I could go on and on...but I don't want to bore you. I just want to say that I am here to talk or listen if you ever need it! (and that's the truth!)

    Xo Lourdes

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  68. I can definitely relate to these feelings. in fact, I've been feeling them lately as well. It's like you're trying so hard not to become a green eyed monster when something goes well for someone else, and you know you should be happy for them, but all you want to do is pout and stomp your feet. I would usually be filled with drive and enthusiasm to go out there and accomplish things, but lately all i want is for all those things to just simply appear... preferably right in front of me while i'm lazing on the couch. It's hard to take the first step in the right direction, even harder when you don't know what that first step is. But it'll come, with time...and probably a lot of energy. But, at the end of the day, such is life. and we should be glad we are living one.

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  69. you are such a strong beautiful woman, it takes courage just to come out and speak your heart {which is something i struggle with}. i've been there too. we all have. just remember, there is beauty in the struggle, i promise. you just have to look deep. one day you will look back on this and it will all make perfect sense. patience is the hardest virtue. chin up buttercup! you got this. xojacqlyn

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  70. *hugs* I relate to this post so. much. I can't offer you much in the way of advice since it's something I struggle with myself...just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

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  71. ohhhh how i can relate to this. good song to listen too: Let it Be by superchick...one of my favorite lyrics of all time, "when we compare we fall short somewhere, it's always true"

    happy thoughts your way, and know you're not alone!
    :):)

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  72. Oh TJ..I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and I wish I could give you a hug! Things and life can be so hard sometimes, and I can totally relate to some of what you said, if not all at one point or another. I totally relate to the baby thing right now. I'm at a stage where everyone is having kids, and I'm not yet. It's hard not to compare my life to other women, especially when I feel I'm missing out on some things (mom groups, making friends at church, etc.). I appreciate your raw honesty in this post. I really do think you are awesome!

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  73. I echo those above. I too have had problems with comparison being the thief of my joy! I do look at other people's blogs and my friends' lives and think they are so lucky- why can't I be like them?! I was the last of all my friends to get married. And I couldn't help comparing myself to them. How come they get to get married? I should be getting married. I now I am. And how they are all having babies and I'm just not there yet. I'm so happy for them all, but at the same I'm jealous too. I want to be able to have a baby too, but I worry about money, getting a house, and working. And then I look at all these blogs and see everyone living abroad and doing amazing things. I wish I could be more like them. I think we all struggle with these feelings. Thank you so much for writing this post and for your honest. Believe me when I say- tons of people read your blog and wish they were you!!!

    I think it's all about controlling your thoughts. And I think sometimes we get stuck in funks. Have a good cry and take a nap. We are all fighting the same fight. Just be the best you that you can be. Nothing more you can do! And thanks again for being so honest and refreshing.

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  74. I hear ya/feel ya. All the dental student wives around here are so put together and seem to have the perfect life, it's hard to be around them sometimes! When I'm feeling down I just try to focus on the positive things. Like, you are AMAZING with kids! Fox truly adores you; you are a great aunt and I'm so excited to see you again in a month! We get there on the 22nd but late at night so let's party on the 23rd :)

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  75. I've been here and it's clear that, based on all of the comments above, we all have at one time or another. My best piece of advice? Volunteer. While I worked by day as a (not even glorified) secretary, I would spend my evenings volunteering. It gave me the purpose I felt I was lacking in every other part of my life. Holding sick babies whose mothers had abandoned them, tutoring kids at Head Start, or collecting winter coats for families who cannot afford them. Little things. It gave me tremendous perspective. In the end, it's not about Instagram or homemade Christmas ornaments or Madewell dresses (although, those things are all very nice). It's about making the best of what you have and giving to those who have less. Most of the time, I genuinely suck at life. But when I'm helping someone in whatever capacity I can, there is joy. Lots and lots of joy.

    In any case, I love your blog and wish you the best :)

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  76. definitely been there, little lady. in fact, i have a post waiting to be published about this exact thing! i think it's times like these that we just need to wait out!

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  77. I compare myself too often. I know I shouldn't and I try not to, but somehow I still compare. And what is worse is that often I compare my weaknesses to the strengths of others. I'm sorry you are feeling this way lately. Thanks for posting this. It is always helpful to know that other people feel this way. I hope you feel better soon!

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  78. this was deep and perfectly put. I appreciate this post more than you know. The sin of comparison is one of the hardest sins out there. I am right there with you on all accounts mentioned above- lovebird and I had several of the same talks just this past holiday weekend. Let's get through this together, girl! Just know- you are darling, have a gorgeous blog and are running on your own time and schedule! Also, if it makes you feel any better- I put your cuteness up on a pedestal and am ALWAYS comparing myself- just wishing I could be you. ;) Joking, but dead serious! ha. LOVE YOU! xo

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    1. Oh gosh, you just make my days girl! You blog is always so upbeat and beautiful. And you are so talented in your career of dance! We will definitely get through this together, and can't wait to see what is in store for us :)

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  79. it is like you're reading my mine. hang in there, lady :)

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  80. i think everyone feels like this now and then, but once you find the courage to snap out of it.. that's when you see the real beauty of your life!

    www.mamajulesbrussels.blogspot.com

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  81. i can totally relate. i have been there time after time. its a hard trap to stay away from. these were all too recent feelings for me and had to change a few things. you'll figure it out--you are a very smart lady! hope you find piece in your own beauty.
    xoxo

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  82. You are not alone in this feeling! I often take breaks from the blogosphere for that very purpose. The posts that are supposed to inspire me (photography, DIY, poetry, etc.) begin to overwhelm and defeat me. I admire how honestly you are tackling this difficult season of your life! You are not alone, and, by the way, there is no shame in a DIY-less house. ;)

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  83. Wow. As I was reading this, I kept thinking "me too," and then I see that you have nearly 100 comments here of women all feeling the same way. Thank you for sharing what's in your heart, for being brave, for being open. Sending you a lot of love and a big hug.

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  84. I'm so glad you wrote this TJ–because it's exactly what I'm going through lately, too. Whether it's other people making you feel that way, or pressures we're putting on ourselves, it's important to remember that we have the power to control our own happiness. As many incredible things that you have in your life (which you have many) sometimes don't matter if you're just not happy. I sometimes just need to let myself have a good cry, wallow a bit and them move forward. It also helps me to make a list of the positive things in my life. I so admire your honesty here!

    Alyssa
    The Glossy Life

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  85. Girl, I totally understand where your at! I compare myself to others all the time. Know that you are beautiful and loved. Turn that frown upside down! ;)

    xo,
    allisonatwork.blogspot.com

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  86. I don't know what it is, but especially lately I've just been dooooooowwwwwwn. (Maybe it's the weather? Lack of sunlight? Who knows.)

    Sebastian (my fiance) will sit there and ask what's wrong or if there's anything I want to talk about, and there's nothing. It's this sort of overwhelming sadness that's masking everything else. Which, I sadly admit, has resulted in random outbursts of tears. (To a dude, that is very confusing, haha)

    But I'm starting to realize, by sitting there on the couch, instead of going out there and doing all those things - the dreams, the goals, whatever it may be - I'm wasting my life. I can sit there and compare and critique myself time and time again, but that doesn't get me anywhere.

    So maybe the trick is finding a like-minded person and sharing those insecurities, those fears, those doubts?

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  87. Oh my goodness, I can relate to this COMPLETELY. I know you've heard the saying, "Comarison is the thief of joy"...right? It's my mantra. I repeat it to myself anything I find myself comparing my body/bank account/fashionability/WHATEVER to someone, because it does rob me of my joy. A few months ago, I decided to go totally off the grid for a month--no Facebook, no Instagram, no internet browsing (Pinterest, etc) and it was one of the most refreshing months of my life. I think you'd be surprised how much those stupid websites contribute to this problem. Maybe take a little break from the interwebs to revive your soul? Just a thought :)

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  88. I think we all go through this. I know I do.... I like to think of it as another trial God has given us to overcome. Find our confidence again. Become humble and strive for a better us. Just thinking of this makes it a little easier for me. Knowing that I can overcome. "This too shall pass." and it will for you TJ! You are an all-star! as it says at the bottom of this comment box. Don't forget it :)

    xoxo
    Liesl

    woodsy-soiree.blogspot.com

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  89. Thank you for sharing these personal thoughts TJ. I know exactly what you mean about comparing yourself to others. I totally struggle with trying to meet certain invisible "standards" too. Just remember to be true to yourself and that God has a plan for your life especially designed for you and no one else :)

    xo
    summer

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  90. girl you are amazing. really truly. and this one of those freakin struggles that are so hard to really get past. God's got you girl. i just had a little hammer of my own about true beauty... sheesh.

    http://streetlily.blogspot.com

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  91. Beautifully put, TJ.

    I could not agree with you more on this topic, it's a hard time for everyone. As the year winds down and you look at what you have done, become, lacked for all 365 days of 2012 it can be overwhelming. Surround yourself with love and happiness and try the make the most of what you have and can do. Push through the crappiness to find the beauty in your world. Thinking of you from Maine and sending you some holiday cheer yo' way!

    XO
    Maggie

    http://beautifullysimmmple.blogspot.com/

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  92. http://darlingmagazine.org/healthy-girl-talk-redefining-beauty/

    read this article. we all get in a funk. whether it's about our bodies, our appearance, i have to remember what and who i'm living for and that's all that should ever matter. i find myself comparing my life to someone else's and it's a devilish thing. we all do enough, are enough, and have enough.

    :)

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  93. I completely agree with you and am in a similar situation! You are not alone. Thanks for sharing.

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  94. beautifully written... i completely agree with you. comparison kills us. you aren't alone, TJ!

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  95. so, i feel this way a lot. i especially feel sad when i realize i'm not exactly where i want to be. i have it good, but every now and then, it hits me that certain things aren't where i need them to be in my life. you aren't alone - and i'm sure you will figure it all out with your wonderful family. i think the hardest thing is wanting to do things and not being able to / not having enough time / or simple just not doing them (i am like that. like i get really upset sometimes when i go home and do nothing because i haven't edited photos yet)

    you are also supported by a ton of us in this great community, and seeing the lovely stream of comments, well, i hope it makes you smile knowing how many of us love reading your corner of the internet here and getting to 'know' you for lack of a better term.

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

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  96. I could have written that, verbatim, about myself... baby stuff and all. I always try to remember this when I am feeling extra bad "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.” Keep your chin up and try to focus on the good things, everything will fall in place!

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  97. I think we all have a bit of this in side all of us, but it's especially hard these days with social networking, blogs, etc. Whenever I start to feel this way, I remove myself from these aspects of my life, and am "still" & in the moment. I find that helps. Brave post.

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  98. I think social media will do that to people and it is hard not to compare. But the best thing to do is to focus on your own positives, or even take a break from reading the ones that you feel in competition with. Hope you feel better soon!

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  99. This is such an amazing post. Its such a relief to hear someone so amazing has the same feelings that i'm sure we all feel. Trust me, you aren't alone :)
    Keep smiling and being so amazing :)

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  100. Such a wonderful and honest post! And I definitely know what you are talking about, I have had those feelings as well, for quite some times.
    For now just find a small activity (for example, start a small DIY project you always wanted to try) that brings you joy! And then by concentrating on something new, most definitely you will start to forget those melancholy feelings!
    Well at least it works for me! :)

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  101. Girl- Look at all the loving comments from your readers (including me!)! We all get down sometimes and it's hard not to be a comparison monster! We are ALL guilt of it sometimes! One bad aspect of social media, blogging, etc. is that users have the ability to only show the positives, the amazing things that are happening in their lives but we all know that we all have bad days. I applaud you for sharing your thoughts, instead of pretending that everything is fine. I wish you a speedy recovery to happiness! You so deserve it!

    xx
    Holly Foxen Wells
    GlamourMash

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  102. i totally understand your feelings of sadness i experience them myself too, blogging has its benefits but one thing i noticed is i compare myself a little bit more when i am blogging. i have so many great things in my life but it is hard for me to see that when i am focusing on blogs

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  103. sometimes it's really hard especially with social media. we only see the parts of people's lives that they want us to see. we don't see the broken dishes from a bad fight, or somebody crying in the bathroom; we see their favourite parts of their lives. my husband accused me of being more picky and comparing since I started blogging, and it's somewhat true. thanks for sharing this, lady, so i know i'm not alone. keep your chin up.

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  104. Hello darling, lovely blog here! Wanna follow each other? Let me know through comments... it would be great to keep in touch =)
    XOXO
    Ylenia
    Last time by Ylenia Labate

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  105. Hi sweet Tania. What you have written is how I feel too. It is so hard not to compare yourself to others, especially with blogging. But really I think you're just going through a stage of life. We all ebb and flow and the times we feel low and sad and frustrated make us feel so much more grateful for the times that we are happy. It's how the universe works I think. Sending all the best to you my dear. This too shall pass. xo

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  106. I think a lot of people, if not everyone, feels this way at some point in time. I tend to compare myself to a lot of people as well, especially bloggers that can take great pictures, or write well, or have really nice clothes and outfits and whatnot. But just remember that not everyone magically became awesome at doing what they're doing, it took years and years of time and practice. Try doing something slightly different every day - after all, you can't expect something to change if you're doing the same thing every time. I hope you'll feel better soon :)

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  107. We all compare ourselves to others- it's human nature. The thing we have to remember is to just not take it too far. You are you - someone beautiful, smart, creative, talented, and completely and totally 100% unique. There is no one else like you in the world. Everyone has different strengths, and everyone has different weaknesses.

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  108. Thank you for the lovely comment you left on my blog!

    It can be so hard not to compare yourself to others or want things others have! We all struggle with it from time to time, i to have been in the same boat lately ! Especially seeing so many blogs and wonderful ideas on pinterest it can be hard not to compare yourself but it really is the thief of joy! I hope you feel better soon !

    xoxo,
    alycia

    www.alyciamealy.blogspot.com

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  109. Thank you for your honesty!! I can relate to all of it. You're a brave woman, telling your truth! That's what this life is about.

    XOXO
    Remy
    mydailythreads.blogspot.com

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  110. TJ, I could have totally written this post, word for word! I too have became obsess with comparing myself and I hate it. It really eat's away at your spirit. I have even compared myself to your life once before. Although I don't 'know you' but your pretty pictures, prettiness (skinniness too), I wish I could wear red lipstick (or at least try!) wardrobe, vacations, writings... (and yes, that was a tad bit embarrassing to admit too..) - it's just a common, normal human reaction. We are the pretty much the same age (maybe a year apart) so I can defiantly understand the whole 'watching your friends move forward while you are sitting on your coach'. Just remember that everyone has their own problems/battles they are experiencing. No one is perfect even if it may seem. Take it easy love. All will get better, I promise.

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  111. I am so glad you shared this!!! I have suffered greatly over this type of stuff, and it is so good to know I am not the only one. That is where I have to find joy in the now and just count my blessings. Life was not meant to be perfect! I remind myself of that often!!

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  112. I'm with you. I've been thinking about this often. I've really been thinking about how unhealthy the constant flow of media that is brainwashing us can be. I waste so much time numbing myself by watching tv and scrolling over instagram and twitter. What if I removed some of that stimuli that is certainly not helping me grow? What would bloom in that space if I created emptiness instead of constant noise? I think it's an experiment worth trying. Our spirits are too precious not to take seriously. I hope we both find our zip and zing. xo

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  113. hah!
    so there ARE people that think like i do at times?!

    you are definitely not the only one to have thoughts like that float around your head.. i do it all the time and its so bad for you... us.. people that do it in general... its so demotivating... so try to concentrate on the Great aspects of your life (by the looks and reads of your blog, you have plenty and you know it ;) )

    brikena

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  114. Comparison really is the thief of joy! You need to enjoy the holidays, so do what you gotta do, girlie :)

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  115. My lovely little lady.
    I know exactly the stage you are in. Mid-twenties, married and waiting for all of your dreams to come true. It's hard to see other people have exactly what you want, and so effortlessly, but with hard work comes great reward. God has you right where he wants you, and I pray that he will give you the strength to reach all of your goals in His timing.
    Blessings, Leah

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  116. I have suffered from similar things. I just finished this and it has been helping me a lot.

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Performance/dp/0307591549/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354212989&sr=8-1&keywords=happiness+advantage

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  117. I truly feel for you, it's not easy to stop comparing and it's such a human thing to do. I think the important thing is that you've identified that this is what's making you unhappy. Identifying the problem is half the battle won. I'm 26, I've done some great things, I love my life, and my husband, I think I have the perfect life and I owe it to myself to hang onto that. It's important to look at other people and try to learn and grow but I like what I have and I don't want to ruin that myself by comparing it to what others have/do etc xoxox

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  118. You are lovely! But we are all human and it's ok to be down once in a while! Plus the food coma is probably part of it!!

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  119. Aw TJ, I'm sorry you are feeling down :( This time one year ago I was following my dreams, living an amazing life, now I am chronically ill and hardly ever leave the house. As you might imagine I am constantly comparing myself to friends and other 20 year old women, but something I have realised lately is that you might think other people have it better than you or you desire things that other people may have, but I bet all of those people feel the same about you and your life and what you get out of it in some way or another. I hope you cheer up soon and realise we all love you and just seeing how many comments this post has proves it!

    Love Hayley-Eszti xx

    www.hayleyeszti.blogspot.com

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  120. you're not alone! being a blogger is great but i find myself constantly wishing for other people's lives--or at least, what they document it to be on their blogs. it's not just on the internet though, it's everywhere. it's so hard to feel completely satisfied all the time. i get angry at myself for wanting such frivolous, selfish things, but it's difficult not to compare yourself to others, wonder if you're living up to your potential. that's when i try to focus on all of the great, amazing, little things in my life and write myself a list and call it a day. sometimes that's the best we can do. chin up! you're an amazing person :)

    xo,
    kristyn

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  121. Well, since I'm just commenting here you can tell I've been lagging in the blogosphere too. Don't be sad my cyber-friend! And seriously, stop comparing.....this will get easier as you get older, trust. Nothing is what it seems. Focus on yourself and all of the things you love and already have. Once you shift that focus it will be enough. And if there is something missing, go after it! You are way more successful than you are allowing yourself to recognize right now. You must be blogging away while you're sitting on that couch because what you've done with this little piece of blog space in a short time is pretty amazing. There will always be something lame in life. Instead of focusing on that, focus on all the other good stuff. The lame thing will become insignificant. Smile + hug.

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  122. girlfriend i am right there with ya! it is such a comfort for me to remember that whenever i start feeling overwhelmed, i am not the one truly in control! it takes a whole lot of pressure off to remember that there is a God who knows me and loves me just the same, who never for one second wishes i be any different than what i am.

    it is so hard as women though to feel all of these pressures! especially right now, we are in such a whirlwind decade of change - everyone is at different points, so there are so many things to compare ourselves to. just remember, there is no one youer than you (dr. seuss said so) - be true to that! :)

    xo dilyn
    dilynd.blogspot.com

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  123. Thank you for being so honest. Everyone has those thoughts and feelings, but not everyone is willing to share them with the world.

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  124. i am super late to this post and don't know if you will ever read it. but here is what i have learned: the world tries to entice us with all these false lures of happiness. truth is, most of these things are nothing more than a 3 headed monster that will chew us up and spit us out. jesus is the only one who can fill us up.

    thanks for sharing.

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  125. beautifully written! i totally relate. a good cry is sometimes the very best thing!

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  126. Oh Thank you for writing this! I'm not alone! I soooo needed to read this, and I feel ya girl, thank you for sharing. But you are completely right, we choose to be happy. :) No one or thing is going to change that, life is too short not to be happy :) HUG
    -Elizkathryn
    lifeandlaughter.typepad.com

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  127. oh my, I feel ya girl. I love blogging so much but the one thing that i've realized is that sometimes it makes me feel worse about myself than if i wasn't blogging.. i compare myself to everyone and even though I have an awesome life as well its hard to enjoy when i'm always wanting and wishing for other things. I'm attributing these feelings to this weird age we're at right now where we're trying to find out way and our purpose in life... it's so confusing because you don't know if you're a kid or a grown up or if you should go travel and live life or settle down and prepare for a family.. man, it is HARD. But just know that you are NOT the only one feeling this way and that it's all part of the journey!!xoxox

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  128. sometimes I'm thinking I should stop blogging, watching youtube and all sort of social media websites, to go on with my life without them, but there's something that stops me. besides the feeling of insecurity and inferiority that I have when I watch them, you can find a good emotional post (like this one), a vlog, a diy, someone telling you you're beautiful (even if they mean it generally, when you read it, it's that something). feels so good to find out that you're not alone (even if you know it, when the words are there..it's different).
    thank you for writing this post!

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  129. I actually feel like this a lot. Comparing myself to everyone else. Always feeling down. Thank you for putting that feeling into words. It makes me feel better to know that others struggle with it too.

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  130. the thing about it is this. we have to remember that we only see the tip of the iceberg into others lives. SOME choose to only show the "perfect" or "pretty" parts. We all fall into the trap of comparing and/or feeling bad about ourselves takes many shapes when we read certain blogs or see others' lives. I almost quit blogging for this very thing. But God reminded me that EVERY single person has a set of issues. They have their own problems, struggles and ugliness in their lives. He also reminded me that a lot of these blogs are working to gain followers, really hard they are working. They look at this as a business. So they don't let on to their beliefs, their emotions, their problems--nothing. They are simple "doing a job". I also gained confidence when I heard the Lord tell me that I have a lot to offer. I have something to offer that NO ONE ELSE in the world DOES. What?!!? And now I believe that with my whole heart. No I'm not a domestic goddess, no I'm not a model, no I'm not on a TV show, no I'm not a craft genius, no I'm not tech savvy, no I am not rich. I am not good at MANY MANY THINGS. But I am GOOD and gifted in a FEW. And that's ENOUGH to make a difference. What are my goals? What do I intend here? Where and in what ways can I be used? What am I good at? Others can be good at this or that, and that's OK. They can look really pretty, that's OK, I don't try to be pretty. So what is important to ME? That is what I learned to focus on. What is meaningful? Where do I fit in? And if I don't fit in in the "in" circles, that's OK too, because I can go to bed at night knowing I've done well with my gifts and through God He is well pleased. I am no better off if I'm noticed, or not, that doesn't define me or my blog. TJ you have a gift!!! Many i am sure of it!!! You are a seeker and it's so beautiful!

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  131. I think by you just putting this out there speaks volumes about your character. You acknowledge the feeling, that in this life, we ALL feel the pressure. I constantly feel the pressure to succeed, succeed, succeed. I'm learning that my success can't be defined by others successes. It's a definite work in progress and know that you aren't alone. I LOVE this post and keep focusing on being happy. I find that alone makes me thankful!

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