How to Pick the Perfect Rosé Wine for Your Next Date

Rosé is the perfect wine for a romantic date night. But with so many different types of rosé wine to choose from, how do you know which one is right for you and your date? Here are a few tips to help you pick the perfect rosé wine for your next date.

The Different Types of Rosé Wine

There are many different types of rosé wine available on the market today. Here is a quick guide to some of the most popular styles:

1.White Zinfandel:
This type of rosé is made from the red Zinfandel grape, but only clear juice is used. It is typically light-bodied and sweet, with strawberry or watermelon flavors.

2.Blush wine:
Blush wines can be made from a variety of grapes, but are often based on white wines like Chenin Blanc or Pinot Grigio. They tend to be semi-sweet, with fruity aromas and flavors.

3.Dry rosé:
These wines are made using red grapes, but they undergo a longer fermentation process than other types of rosé. This results in a crisp, dry wine with subtle fruit flavors.

4.Sparkling rosé:
Sparkling wines are made by adding carbon dioxide to the wine, which gives them their characteristic bubbles. Rosé sparkling wines are often made using the same method as Champagne and can be just as delicious.

5.Dessert rosé:
These sweet wines are typically made from late-harvest grapes that have been affected by noble rot. They can be rich and syrupy, with intense fruit flavors.

The Different Types of Rosé Wine

Tips to Help You Pick the Perfect Rosé Wine for Your Next Date

  1. Consider the food you’ll be eating.

If you’re planning on eating a lot of rich, heavy foods, then you’ll want to choose a rosé that is on the lighter side. A light rosé will help to balance out the heaviness of the food and won’t weigh you down. On the other hand, if you’re planning on eating lighter fare, then you can go for a fuller-bodied rosé.

  1. Think about the season.

Rosé is a great summer wine, so if you’re planning a date during the warmer months, then you’ll want to choose a light, refreshing rosé. If you’re planning a date during the cooler months, then you can go for a richer, fuller-bodied rosé.

  1. Consider your taste.

Of course, the most important factor in choosing the perfect rosé wine for your date is your taste. If you know you like lighter wines, then go for a lighter rosé. If you prefer fuller-bodied wines, then go for a fuller-bodied rosé. And if you’re not sure what you like, then try a few different types of rosé until you find the perfect one for you.

Following these tips, you’re sure to find the perfect rosé wine for your next date. So go out and enjoy yourself! And don’t forget to share a glass (or two) with your special someone.

How to find love as an introvert

It can be tough to find love as an introvert. You may not feel comfortable going out to bars or clubs, and you may not want to put yourself in situations where you have to talk to a lot of people. But there are ways to find love as an introvert. Here are some tips.

Tips for introverts to find and keep love

Tips for introverts to find and keep love

  1. Get involved in activities that interest you. This is a great way to meet people who share your interests. When you’re involved in activities that you enjoy, you’ll be more likely to open up and make friends.
  2. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to people. Strike up conversations with the people around you, and you may be surprised at how easy it is to make friends.
  3. Join online dating sites. This can be a great way to meet people since you can control the amount of interaction you have and you can take your time getting to know someone before meeting them in person.
  4. Attend social events. If you’re feeling shy, try attending social events with a friend. This way, you’ll have someone to talk to and you won’t feel so alone.
  5. Be yourself. The most important thing is to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t be afraid to let your true personality shine through. People will appreciate you for who you are, and that’s the best way to find love.

Where do Introverts Find Partners

There are a few different ways where do introverts find partners.
One option is online dating. This can be a great way to connect with people who share your interests and who are looking for a relationship.
Another option is to go out and socialize in places where you feel comfortable, such as bookstores or coffee shops. You may also want to try attending events or activities that are specifically for introverts. This can be a great way to meet people who are on the same wavelength as you and who are looking for a meaningful connection.
Whatever route you decide to take, remember that it’s important to be yourself and to stay true to your values and needs. only then will you be able to find a partner who truly understands and appreciates you.

Following these tips can help you find love as an introvert. Just remember to be yourself, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. With a little effort, you’ll be sure to find the love you’re looking for.

How to meet local singles and make a connection

There are many ways to too busy to date excuse these days. With the advent of online dating, it has become easier than ever to connect with potential partners from all over the world. However, meeting someone in person can still be a challenge, especially if you’re not sure where to look.

tips on how to meet local singles

Here are some tips on how to meet local singles and make a connection:

1. Join a dating site or app. This is one of the easiest ways to meet people who are single and looking for a relationship. There are many popular dating sites and apps that cater to different demographics, so you’re sure to find one that’s right for you.

2. Attend social events. Whether it’s a mixer, happy hour, or speed dating event, attending social events is a great way to meet local singles. These events provide an opportunity to mingle and get to know other singles in your area.

3. Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to meet people who share your interests and values. Plus, it’s a feel-good activity that you can do to give back to your community.

4. Join a club or group. Whether you’re into sports, art, or something else entirely, there’s sure to be a club or group out there for you. Joining one of these organizations is a great way to meet like-minded people in your area.

5. Get involved in the dating scene. If you’re looking for a more active way to meet local singles, then getting involved in the dating scene is a great option. There are many ways to do this, such as going on dates, participating in dating events, or using dating apps.

Conclusion

No matter how you choose to meet local singles, the important thing is that you take the initiative and put yourself out there. With a little effort, you’re sure to find someone special with whom you can share your life.

11 Best Practices for Dating as a Single Parent

It’s challenging to date for two; dating in a group is even more tricky. Even when you don’t believe they are, the children are involved on a certain level. And everyone is packed with strong feelings and ideas about who is engaged and what could happen.

These insider recommendations will make the post-divorce dating experience smoother, whether you’re a single parent seeking to get back into the dating world or someone trying to figure out how to ask out a single parent.

1. Be sure that the timing is appropriate

Making time and mental bandwidth for relationships might be challenging, but thinking about it can help you find perspective. Searching for romance should be enjoyable and joyful, and putting too much pressure on yourself to meet someone will rapidly turn it into a frustrating and terrible experience.

2. Consider relationships a goal in your life

While there are so many things to do, how can romance be a primary concern? Make a serious attempt to get out there and socialize. How else can you start this new chapter of your life?

3. First dates should be simple and in easily accessible areas

The first date is similar to a job interview. You need to see whether this someone fits your standards if you have a good vibe with them and want to go on another date with them. So keep things simple and don’t make an effort to go overboard.

4. Be honest and upfront about your role as a parent

While your dating life should be all about you, it shouldn’t be wholly devoid of your children. Any prospective partner should know that you have children to make an educated decision.

It’s preferable to exclude them early if they don’t want to date someone with children.

5. Make no excuses or apologies for having children

Many single parents believe that having children is a shortcoming for which they must apologize or make explanations. Being a parent does not require you to explain or find excuses.

It implies nothing about you or your children if someone doesn’t want to date a single parent. It’s just a way of expressing their choice.

6. Don’t bring the kids into it

It’s seductive to include your children in your current relationship. It might be for the sake of convenience or because you believe you know your partner reasonably well.

Don’t include the children until you’re sure things are becoming severe, whatever the reasoning.

7. Being in the moment

It’s simple to slip into the habit of “future jumping,” or looking forward to a possible future together. But it’s much too early for anything when you’re merely talking before a first date or on a first night. Keep your mind on the current moment.

8. Accept and acknowledge your anxiousness or worry

When it comes to dating again, we frequently experience nervousness or anxiety. Accept your emotions. Anxiety and worry are signs that you are aware of the importance of the circumstance. Accept them and keep moving forward despite them.

9. Have faith in your intuition

You may avoid toxic relationships and situations by listening to your instincts. Fortunately, our intuition is so profoundly intuitive that even if we’ve been out of contact with it for our whole existence, it’s still waiting for us to call for its guidance.

10. Take a chance on internet dating

As you re-enter the dating scene, online dating might be a good place to start. Select a trustworthy dating site, and don’t hesitate to pay for it.

11. Think about your deal-breakers

This saves you time by automatically eliminating folks who aren’t a good fit for your life. Then, if you’re going to date online, be sure that these characteristics help you locate folks. Be mindful of your beliefs and the sort of person you want to attract.

Don’t neglect your children by devoting all of your spare time to your new partner if you find love. It’s equally essential to take your time later on if you’ve created a bond with someone.

10 Conflict-free Ways To Handle Unwanted Parenting Advice

People who care for your infant have a special bond with you and your baby that encourages unwanted parenting advice. However, listening to all of your relatives and friends’ comments while holding a crying days-old child on your chest may be difficult. It’s tricky to draw a line between unwanted advice and the need to maintain a relationship.

However, it’s essential to explain if and when you want criticism on your parenting choices for the family’s sake.

Do you need to have a difficult talk with someone who gives advice? Here’s how to deal with unsolicited advice from parents.

1. Set clear limits from the start

It is essential to create boundaries before a possible problem occurs. You build a safety net by expressing requirements upfront, which prevents undesired viewpoints and unsolicited advice from parents. It specifies when they are welcome to visit, how long they are permitted to stay, and what you do and does not require assistance with.

2. Listen to some of it

It’s normal to become defensive if you believe someone is criticizing you, but chances are you aren’t being judged; instead, the other person is offering what they consider to be helpful information. Keep the other person’s noble motives in mind to make everything go as quickly as planned.

3. Sending misleading signals is a bad idea

Try being open and honest about your experiences. If you want to avoid receiving unwanted advice in the future, be wary of the messages you send to people that appear ready to give their opinions. Tell them you’re OK on your own and that if anything comes up, you’ll ask them yourself.

4. Agree from time to time

You could agree with one or more parts of the recommendations. If you’re willing, demonstrate complete approval on the subject. A simple “Thank you, we’ll think about it” might indicate that the conversation went well and those good connections can be maintained.

5. Make your control visible

There may be times when you need to be much more straightforward and respond to suggestions with a simple “This is a choice taken solely by the parents.”

If your close relative has a reason to believe they should be involved in parenting, you may need to be much more cautious in establishing your boundaries.

6. Fully focus on the particular patterns you’d like to change

You might have to be very precise about which actions are and aren’t acceptable to you if somebody has a naturally overbearing temperament. Describe the person’s activities you find unpleasant and how you’d like it to improve.

7. Assign a task to each person

Give everyone a complimenting responsibility that lets them make a significant contribution to your children’s life without compromising your parenting decisions as a means of expressing gratitude for their efforts and recognizing how valuable their cooperation is to you.

8. Filter

When someone tries to help and provides some advice, think about whether such advice would benefit your family. If the direction is entirely useless, simply let it pass through one ear and out the other.

9. Self-Education

If you’re unsure about the right course of approach in a parenting dilemma, educate yourself. You may also teach people if you’ve discovered the solution and have solid knowledge or insight to back it up. Rely on the knowledge that you are doing everything you can for your child.

10. Consult your child’s pediatrician for further information

You can always discuss any worries with your child’s physician to receive a healthcare expert’s view if you think such unwelcome advice is linked to your child’s health or lifestyle.

Many individuals will accept a perspective if a qualified person has validated it. Refer to another physician if your doctor disagrees with your point of view on the matter, that you think is right.

It’s important to remember that times have changed significantly since our parents were parenting their kids. As a result, there are constantly updated recommendations for parents to follow as science and professionals discover more about keeping babies healthy and happy.

7 Ways for Single Mothers to Cope After Divorce

The period following a divorce can be pretty tricky. If you want to make progress in your life, you must begin by concentrating on yourself and your well-being.

You may expect a lot of mental ups and downs, a lot of mistakes, and a lot of self-doubts. However, you can still have a happy family life after separation despite these challenges. Divorce does not have to involve messed-up children, a wrecked lifestyle for you, or frequent disputes with your former partner.

You can establish a successful life with a positive mindset, a tremendous amount of work, and everyday attempts to strengthen your ties with your kids.

Here are some strategies for getting your life back on track as a recently single mother. By employing one or more of these strategies, single moms may cope with their divorce and look forward to a new beginning.

1. Comment on it, and don’t bottle up your emotions

Talking about your experience as a single mother might make you feel less overwhelmed or anxious. It’s OK to be vulnerable, and contacting a community or therapist willing to listen is essential in developing and rebuilding after divorce.

After you’ve taken so much off your shoulders and been given the strength to deal with being a single parent, a one-hour therapy session frequently seems more like a day at the resort.

2. Reorganize your funds and begin making long-term plans

You may find it challenging to make all financial choices on your own now if you originally had shared accounts and your former partner was in charge of the family money. Yet, ignorance in this subject, as well as making impulsive, uneducated judgments, may be harmful and backfire on you.

Remember, no matter how bleak things may appear as you begin your new life as a single mother, the future is looking bright.

3. Do not be influenced by the opinions of others

It’s natural for others to pass judgment on you, and that’s fine. You have no control over what others believe or comment about you. Your first objective is to get better, so if someone insults you or is nasty to you, cut your losses as soon as possible.

Divorce isn’t simple, and it’s certainly not joyful. However, by adopting constructive measures like these, you will get through this period of your life.

4. Positive thinking might help you regain your courage

You may compose a summary of your most exemplary traits that people admire about you and recite it out loud each day to increase your self-esteem and dignity after separation.

This may support you in discovering excellent attributes or characteristics in you that you may have overlooked throughout your miserable marriage.

5. Exercise

Moving can help to lessen the effects of post-separation melancholy. Physical exercise can sometimes provide a refreshing distraction from the concerns causing us to feel down. It’s also unnecessary to participate in an intense workout to gain the benefits of getting active.

Achieving fitness goals or trials, no matter how minor, may increase your self-esteem. Staying in shape might also make you feel more confident in your own body. You may get the boost you need by walking, running, or doing a low-impact workout.

6. Begin to befriend and date other single parents

Single parents can date in many different ways once they’re interested. This, like everything else, should be handled with an unbiased mindset. Start slowly and carefully to comprehend what you want from a successful relationship fully.

7. Establish supportive relationships and broaden your circle of friends

Friendships between single parents are typically lifelong since you share so much at this time. If you don’t feel like socializing, you may rediscover an old passion, perhaps one that doesn’t necessitate hiring a babysitter. Social activities, in any case, are a terrific way to meet new people and expand your social network.

Although parenting as a single mother might be more challenging than parenting as a family, there are several advantages. So, focus on the positive aspects of becoming a single mother, finish that chapter, and focus on the advantages of being a freshly single mum.

LET’S BE HONEST MAMAS: TECHNOLOGY WITH KIDS

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Life update! I feel like Zoe has hit the terrible two’s early. She’s still the funniest, craziest, happiest, talkative, little bundle of joy ever, but homegirl has got a sassy side. Welcome those throwing, hitting, kicking, rolling on the floor screaming tantrums. Luckily nothing out in public (like the grocery store) just yet, but man those toddler tantrums are real! So much of her tantrums come from her not being able to express herself just yet. Because she’s so independent she wants to be able to do things all on her own and when she can’t she just gets so frustrated with herself. And I don’t blame her, I’m the same way! Another trigger for her tantrums is the phone. As soon as she sees a cellphone she wants to play with it immediately. If we let her she could watch videos of herself alllllll day long! I basically hide my phone until Zoe goes down for her naps or when she goes down for the night. Which brings me to today’s post!

It’s another Let’s Be Honest Mamas post (you can read all about that and how it started here). A big shout out to our girl Hannah for bringing us together! And today we are talking all about technology with little ones. Of course the use of technology with kids is such a personal opinion, so please when you read on know that what I have chosen to do is what works for me and my family! Okay, now that that is out of the way let’s get to it.

1. Do you have an opinion on technology use with kids? Do you worry about being on your phone too much around your babies?

Before I had Zoe I totally thought I’d be one of those mamas that was 100% against them having access to technology until they were at least two. I wanted them to have time to grow their own imagination and not let them sit in front of the TV all day, every day. But once I had Zoe things changed. Of course when she was really little, having the TV on in the background was mostly for me and not for her. Even at 19 months she still won’t sit through a whole movie. It’s mostly songs or singing that she likes to watch. She’ll dance along to Moana, pretend to sing to Trolls. She loves Sesame Street. Living in the PNW means you have to get creative indoors when it rains 9 months out of the year, and technology can definitely come to the rescue when you need it.

As far as phones, Zoe VERY early on had a high interest in my phone. She loves to look at herself, and unlike TV she could sit all day and watch videos of herself (my little vain princess 😂). It doesn’t help that with Snapchat and Instagram stories all I want to do is take videos of her doing the cutest things. But now it’s gotten to the point where I pretty much have to hide my phone. Poor Eric constantly tries to call me but I can’t pick up. At least when it’s out of site it’s out of mind so she doesn’t ask for it. But I’ve had to get creative with my hiding spots because she knows them all. I think this is something I will definitely do differently next time around. Note to self, keep the baby selfies and video taking to a minimum.

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2. What age did you or will you allow your kids to play with your phone, iPad, etc.? Do you restrict what they do on it? Will you buy them their own tablet?

Zoe really started going after my phone around her 1 year birthday. After Christmas my parents gave Z an old iPad that they had lying around their house. The iPad is for car use only, and is only used for playing movies for those long excursions. Go to movies are Beauty and The Beast, Sing, Moana, and Trolls. When she wants my cellphone it’s purely to watch videos of yourself, snapchat or Facetime with her favorite auntie. Obviously I want to limit those interactions as much as possible, and I’ll definitely try to hold off longer next time around, ha.

3. At what age did you (or do you plan to) let your kids watch tv and for how much time per day? Certain tv shows/channels?

Like I mentioned previously, Zoe still hasn’t taken much interest in the TV just yet, but I would say she started engaging more around 13 months or so. I typically schedule it to help trigger her for things. She’ll watch a little bit in the morning while she’s eating breakfast. Super Why is her favorite show to watch during lunch. She just loves it and I love that it’s educational. She’ll repeat back sounds that they are making when they are spelling out words. I love timing Sesame Street whenever I have to change her afternoon diaper because for some reason that’s the one she HATES being changed for the most. It’s really weird. And before she goes to bed she loves to watch Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune with us. As far as channels, PBS Kids is where it’s at!

4. What are your/your babe’s favorite tv shows and movies? Are you concerned with the message it teaches and do you restrict any shows in particular?

At this time I’m not too concerned with negative messages that Zoe “watches”. I don’t really restrict what I’m watching if she’s in the room (I pretty much just have The Office, FRIENDS, or Parks and Rec on anyhow). I think restrictions will come around 2 when I know she’s more self aware. Her favorite shows are Super Why, Sesame Street, Dinosaur Train, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and Thomas and Friends. At least those are ones that keep her attention for more than 2 minutes. She’s ALWAYS moving.

5. If you do not use iPad/iPhones as entertainment/distractions while out, what types of activities, toys, explanations do you use?

Other things we like to do to keep Zoe occupied are books. We finally bought her one of those “First 100 words” books (not sure why it took us so long), but she loves to point at different objects, especially pictures of monkeys and dogs. She doesn’t talk too much yet, but she understands so much. We’ll say “Zoe, where’s the monkey” and she’ll turn to the page and point to the monkey. Basically she’s a genius, ha! She also loves to read “Quiet Time with Cassatt“. I have that book memorized so she’ll flip the pages and I’ll read out loud the words while I’m driving places. I also recently bought her this Crayola No Mess Markers And Paper Kit that she loves to doodle on. And when all else fails, pull out the Fruit Snacks.

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MISCARRIAGE UPDATE

I’ve gotten a few very sweet emails lately asking how I have been since publicly speaking out about my miscarriage, as well as what mine and Eric’s future plans are. You guys, no words! Thank you all so much for your continual love and support through this very difficult time for me. I thought I would post my response here. Honestly, most days have been amazing! Initially after posting about my experience I would receive the occasional pity hugs or looks. Those were not so fun. But for the most part I received nothing less than sheer admiration, love, support, patience, and understanding. Being able to talk to so many women who have undergone similar circumstances, its like this immediate bond.

To give you some perspective, I had my miscarriage in mid to late October. October 20th to be precise. It’s been a few months now, and my body is finally getting back into its natural groove. That first period though, what a doozy!! (TMI?) I feel emotionally stable enough now to have those exciting talks with Eric about our future again (if we are lucky enough). When it is just us two in our own little bubble sometimes I forget how scary it all was, or how sad this whole process still is. I have my occasional off days. For instance, a few days ago a friend of ours announced her pregnancy and instead of being ecstatic for her I immediately started to cry my head off. Luckily, not in her presence. I felt terrible because I did not feel excitement for her in her time but pity for myself. My brain fast-forwarded to the next several months of having to see her in each stage of her pregnancy. To see her beautiful growing tummy and knowing that mine won’t be there. To hear her talk with all the other “mommies” of the group about every big milestone and symptom of pregnancy. You guys, I’ve become envious of morning sickness. Is that normal?

Initially after I lost our baby I wouldn’t even dream of doing it all over again. The idea of being pregnant became this very scary thing. To be honest, it still is. The fear of going through the same painful experience is too excruciating to explain. But then you see all these babies and all these pregnant women (is everyone pregnant right now or am I just imagining things?) and you realize you want to be there too! I feel like right now me and patience are in an epic battle. I was fortunate enough the first time to get pregnant just two weeks into trying, and for some reason I just assumed it would be the same this time around. No such luck. Eric has to keep reminding me that my body went through a very traumatic experience and things will fall into place when it’s good and ready. I feel as long as I keep reminding myself this (over and over again) I’ll be okay. In the meantime, I’ll just be avoiding all you pregnant ladies like the plague!

I’m talking about my resolutions heading into this new year over on “The Village” site today (found HERE). I gave myself only three. The first one was to be happy, and I touched base on being happy for other peoples successes. Apparently I have already failed that one. Hoping to work on that over these next few months. Wish me luck! And to all you women out there trying, I wish you nothing but success, happiness, joy, and a healthy baby! And just remember, it won’t always be you, but one day it will be!

MISCARRIAGES AND MOVING FORWARD

I’ve been going back and forth about posting this for some time now. I’ve written it, deleted it, wrote it again, left it in draft format, and there it sat, collecting dust, and serving as a constant reminder of its presence every time I signed into blogger. There is no eloquent way to write this. I had a miscarriage. It was painful both physically and emotionally, and something, I am slowly learning, will be with me for the rest of my life. Moments will pass, milestones that you had mentally written down, that will go by unnoticed by anyone else but me and Eric.

Miscarriages are a funny thing. There are no badges of honor, no walkathons or t-shirts to encourage awareness. Most conversations about miscarriages always end with “Don’t worry, I know other people who have had one too and went on to have lots of healthy babies.” Of course everyone means well, but what I’m hearing instead is that my extraordinary sadness is in fact ordinary, insignificant, unremarkable. Why, at this moment, would I want to hear about someone else’s miscarriage when I’m lying on my bathroom floor trying to lift a million pounds of failure, embarrassment and disappointment off my chest?

It’s been a few weeks now, and still I catch myself crying out every now and again. Anger, sadness, loneliness. This holiday season has especially proven to be a hard one. We were going to surprise our parents Thanksgiving day by sharing the news. We were going to hold out and reveal the baby gender Christmas morning. Instead, there was no exciting news to share over Thanksgiving day, and there is no pretty envelope waiting under the Christmas tree.

I’ve been working hard to be kind to my body these past few weeks. Slowly getting myself back into the gym, eating healthier and taking lots of naps. Since miscarriages seem to be a big taboo I’ll give it to you straight. Let’s talk break outs for a second because that’s happening. Your body already feels broken as it is, let’s add a few pimples to the mix to really drive that stake through your self confidence. Hormones are also a b*tch! Never have I ever wanted so badly to have my period back. Food is a common enemy. For some reason all that ever sounds good is soup? And anxiety is off the charts! Let me tell you about my new pen pal, medical bills. Those things keep flying in like Harry Potter’s acceptance letters into Hogwarts.

We’ve kept this miscarriage a secret for a while now. Only my closest friends and our immediate family were given the news. Truthfully, that was what I needed at the time. But now that a little time has passed and the scars are beginning to heal I feel ready. I’m ready to break the silence, to get back into my regular routine and to just be honest. You have no idea how much weight is being lifted off my chest right now just being able to type this all out. Who knew blog posts could be so therapeutic!

The best way I can express my thoughts now, moving forward, come to you by an amazing New York Times article I read a few weeks back. “I can tell you that I want people to know. I don’t want it to be a secret or a shadow or something that is endured only alone. I want people to know that I have been through something, that I am tired but optimistic, that I’ve been knocked down but don’t help me up because I can get up myself. It’s fair, I think, to want witnesses for our suffering. But with the sorrow also comes hope. And after all, we are resilient creatures.”

I thank you all for taking the time to read this, for your understanding and for your empathy. Please, positive comments are much appreciated. And for any of you who may be going through similar circumstances, feel free to email me. If only for a listening ear, I am here. I love you all, be kind to yourselves.
xoxo

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

I found myself watching The Help this past week. No reason in particular, I just wanted to have something in the background while I was doing some meaningless work. I’d seen the movie before. It’s good, heart felt and eye opening. But this time was different. The movie took on a whole new meaning to me when it came to this scene:

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” 
These past few weeks have been emotionally and physically draining on me. Some days are better than others. But when this scene came on I immediately stopped myself from what I was doing and let out a good cry. You know the one. The kind of cry when you dramatically sob into your hands and collapse into a small ball on the floor. Where you think the whole world is caving in on you, and you take little sips of air to bring you back to reality. It’s quite an embarrassing scene when you think about it afterwards. Not at all attractive, like how they look in movies. Luckily the only one there to witness it was my dog, Teddy. Bless his little heart. He didn’t judge. He just sat right there next to me and gave me little kisses right when I needed them, and sat on my lap the rest of the movie. Even now as I type this I’m working hard to hold back those same emotions that came flooding up inside of me that day. I know this is all starting to sound so cryptic. Sorry for that.

The point is, this quote really had my thinking. Thinking about how we treat ourselves. I know firsthand that I am my own worst enemy. When something goes wrong, when something doesn’t go exactly how I planned, I turn inward. It must have been something I did. If only I had done this. Maybe I should have done that. Or those days when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see back. I wish I didn’t have so many freckles. Check out those raccoon eyes. How about those legs grow 5 more inches. I don’t think that should be shaking when I walkIf only I could look like her. Or for those moments when things just don’t line up and you feel like a failure not only for yourself but for those around you. Trust me, these negative thoughts run through my head on a daily basis. More now than ever, or at least since I was 16.

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” I want this to be my new mantra. I want this to be constantly running through my thoughts whenever I turn inward. 

I took this picture of myself the other day. I took it right after coming back from a grueling weightlifting class at the gym. I wasn’t feeling particularly beautiful this day. In fact, it was another one of those crying days. But I wanted to take a picture of myself to reflect. I took the picture and immediately stopped and looked at it. Instead of seeing the greasy hair, my flabby arms and those freckles (oh so many freckles), I decided to be kind to myself. I really looked at this person as that, a person. A person who was created out of love between two people, who is loved by her family and friends. A person with a past, who has scars. Battle wounds on her heart that are trying to be put back together. “Be kind to her”, I told myself. And immediately I did. I saw those freckles as little memories. Memories of days spent on the beach given kisses by the sun. Memories of holding my moms hands and seeing the same freckles staring back at me. I saw those arms who had given so many hugs to loved ones who are no longer here with me. I saw those bags under the eyes as moments of showing vulnerability as opposed to weakness. From many sleepless nights and crying spells. Those little bags are worn proudly as badges of honor for those moments of hardship recently endured. 

If you are still reading all of this blubbering I applaud you. But mostly I just want to say that I love you. Be kind to yourselves this week, and know that you’re in my thoughts. There are so many of you that I just feel connected through, whether it be through your comments, emails or your own blogs. Know that you are kind. You are smart. You are important. 

xoxo.