My heart is so full right now. Thank you all for your sweet comments, words of encouragement, support, prayers, and love. And for you brave warriors who confided in me through emails, texts, phone calls... words cannot express the amount of love and admiration I have for all of you. I know that most people turn to blogs to read as a source of entertainment and inspiration. I promise that I will get back into the happy posts soon. But seeing as this is a lifestyle blog, and this has played out to be a huge part of my life, I feel like it's my duty to share every piece of me that I feel comfortable with. You come to my little corner of the Internet for truth, so here it is. After reading so many of your emails the other day, my heart ached. It astounds me to think of all the hurt that people can be going through on their own. You are not alone. If only we could all have stamped on our foreheads the trials that we are enduring or have overcome. We would all be a little kinder and patient and loving. We are all warriors.
My heart ached for those who felt they weren't allowed to be saddened by their miscarriages because they "weren't that far along". Stop it. Whether you were 2 weeks or 30 weeks, you endured a loss. If only for that mere moment of happiness that you felt in your heart. Those mere days you dreamt of your future with that sweet baby, and to have that stripped away from you. Those feelings of sadness and anger are justified. One day you were a mother, and the next you weren't. Do not allow anyone to belittle your feelings.
My heart ached for those who shared with me their struggles with infertility. Although I was able to get pregnant, because it was taken away from me those same fears of "what if" can so easily creep into my mind. "What if" that was my only shot. "What if" I have another miscarriage. "What if" I'm not supposed to have children. Stop it. Although I cannot promise you those futures you cry out for in your prayers, I know with my whole heart that our purpose here on earth is so much greater. No words I give to you will ever be enough but just know that there are sweet babies up in heaven who are waiting for you. And whether it be in this lifetime or here after, you will find them, and all your pain and sadness will be worth it.
My heart ached for those who had to endure miscarriages on their own. You are no longer alone. Look around you, share your heart, because I promise so much love and support will head your way.
I know firsthand how scary it can be to share such personal pieces of your heart with the world. We do not seek sympathy, but rather a common understanding that we are survivors, just like you, who are trying to pick up the pieces along the way. So do not look down on us. Instead, look up. I feel so grateful to know that I can be, if anything, a small voice for those who feel voiceless or are not yet ready to express their own thoughts. Just know that I love you, and I'm here for you. In the meantime, I will be playing "Here Comes The Sun" on repeat. Be kind to yourselves.
photo image via.