CRY

This morning I did what no blogger should do, look at the negative comments said about your site. I believe there is a difference when someone writes to you or leaves you a comment with honest and heartfelt feedback. I know that sometimes we need this constructive criticism to make not only ourselves but the content of our work better. Sometimes even these words can be hard to hear, but I know they are for the best. What is not for the best is to look at the words maliciously written about you. These are more serious attacks not only about my site but sometimes against me as a person and my character. It hurts. It hurts because I am a real person. I have real feelings and moments of self doubt. I am human.

Today I cry, but tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow I will not wallow in self pity. Tomorrow I will tell myself to never look at these sites again, because really I don't care what those people have to say. I love to blog. I love to connect with my readers. I know who I am today, and that I am still continuing to grow. I hope you all will grow with me.

Sorry to those people, but I choose not to care anymore. Keep on hating, because over here I will have nothing but love. 

72 comments:

  1. Those people are the worst! I feel sad for them they have time to sit on the web and write nasty things about good people. Love your blog always!

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  2. Love your blog! Keep posting and ignore the bad! Xoxo

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  3. Keep doing what you do girl! People that have the nerve to actively hurt others REALLY have nothing better to do with their time. And if you really think about it, that's really sad for them. You are a better person for being able occupy yourself with things you love to do, and the things that nurture and further you as a lovely human being. Don't let words from faceless strangers get you down. You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches! That's life ;), but good thing most people like peaches hehe.

    <3Jo
    www.thelittledandy.com

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  4. bad comments? really dear, i just have nothing but good things to say and think of your blog.
    -whit

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  5. Hey, haters gonna hate. I know exactly how you feel - usually I just cry it all out and then it gets better. And the next day, BOOM, I'm back on track.
    You're awesome at what you do and it would be a shame if some small-minded people would ruin that. You rock, gaal :)!

    xx
    http://gita-oddsandends.blogspot.com/

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  6. TJ, you helped me feel like I belonged to the blogger community right when I started, and for that I am so incredibly grateful. You have a beautiful spirit and a beautiful heart. I don't even personally know you, but I know that it's the truth. Never forget it and just know that you have touched peoples lives more than you know.

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  7. OH NOOOO. Darling girl, those stupid websites are made by negative (and horrible) people for negative people who just have nothing better to do with their time than being mean and miserable. Don't you dare take any of their remarks personally. You know who you are and what you are worth. Those people don't know you, how could they judge?! Blogging is a funny thing because you let people in your life, so they feel like they 'know' you and they feel like they've got a right to criticize you... but really what everyone needs to realize is that we know NOTHING of a person from reading something they've written or from a picture they've posted (by nothing I mean not the whole picture..) Most bloggers let you in on 20% of their life, and leave out the other 80%. I'm sad to hear that you've been affected by it. I've had a few blogger friends tell me about those sites and I just promised myself to never look at them. You won't gain anything from them (well you might gain a few page views...look at the positive ;) Chin up! xxx

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  8. Sometimes we just have to realize that it's OUR lives we are living, so it doesn't matter how anyone else feels about it! And honestly, who are they to judge. You have so many people who love you and your blog! So focus on the positive! <3
    xo, Emma

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  9. So sorry! Through years as a writer, I've learned to accept criticism better, but it's not an easy journey. Many of these people are saying things out of spite or jealousy, so remember that. There are more people that love your blog and THOSE are the people who matter! :)

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  10. ugh, bullies of the internet. this read might cheer you up a bit: http://www.kellehampton.com/2013/10/the-solution-to-pleasing-people-dont_8.html

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  11. blogging is such an interesting thing. we get into it because we love to write, and the community can be so wonderful and uplifiting and inspiring. and yet we choose to subject ourselves to the possibility of the negative feedback. such is life. theres always going to be people out there that are hateful and negative, good for you for moving on and ignoring it. that kind of stuff isn't worth your time.

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  12. good for you, people who write things like that are just spirit crushers.

    http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/10/work-outfit-3.html

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  13. I will never understand why people say mean things. Once upon a time I looked at a "scrap smack" website and looked myself up and saw that people were hatin' on me for naming my son Fox! WTH?? I've never looked at that website again. Too much hate and absurdness. You just go on being the sweet, funny, gorgeous girl that you are!

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  14. Ignore the negative, TJ. You do a lovely job with your blog and don't let anyone else try to convince you otherwise; sadly those sort of people cannot say anything nice. Keep smiling. :)

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  15. The other day out of curiosity, I visited that blogger bashing forum and read a few threads about some of my very favorite bloggers. It surprised me how petty, malicious, and plain MEAN these people are ... sometimes, I don't think they realize that bloggers aren't just images and words on a website - they're real, living, humans. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about them - I've read what they have to say, and you can just hear envy and pettiness seeping from their words. Keep strong, girl!

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  16. good for you! we love you ;)

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  17. Oh my goodness TJ, you are AMAZING and so LOVELY!!! That is extremely sad that there are people out there that say and do horrible things to others. But that is what seems to be the case whenever anyone is recognized and becomes more known. People that have very low self esteem go out there and attack other people and try to bring them down to their level. But like you said, you have to rise above it!! Have your good cry, and move on!! Be happy, and keep being you!! Remember there are tons of others that love you for you!! :) xoxo!!

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  18. oh no. so sorry to hear this. keep your chin up, tj and stay strong. xx

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  19. Wow, I've never been on GOMI, but it's fascinating! A whole bunch of grown ass women bashing other women! What a great site *sarcasm*. Honestly, you got off easy. Nat the Fat Rat's thread is BRUTAL. I advise never going on that site again. What a sink-hole for your soul.

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  20. I hate that the internet is a place for people to hide behind a computer screen and tear others apart. That is probably one of the hardest things about putting yourself out there and being a blogger. It sucks. BUT You are amazing, don't worry or listen to any of those comments.

    Don't get swallowed up by the negativity of people that aren't happy with their own lives. You have hundreds of people that love to hear your honesty, your thoughts and read about your life! And I'm one of them:)

    -Courtney

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  21. Well i'm going to say it because seriously, why did you cry?. You know there are people who love your blog, and write with honesty, but those who only write to be mean, you shouldn't give them the importance they don't have. They hurt you because you let them, don't!, that's what they wanted and they did it. You are a beautiful girl, don't let them get you. not today, not tomorrow, never!

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  22. I'm so sorry that nasty blogger made you cry. But I'm glad you have the strength to move on. You're a beautiful, sweet girl and a lot of people love you. **hugs** ♡ :-)

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  23. Funny how people act when they have the internet to hide behind! Losers. No more crying lady, they're not worth your time. :)

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  24. why would you ever do that to yourself? who cares about others? And I don'r understand what normal and happy person would leave negative comments to anyone...
    I love your blog, and I love your writing... so, cheer up and let's blog!!!!
    xx
    http://littlemisstwiggy.blogspot.com/2013/10/furry.html

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  25. I WILL KILL WHOMEVER IS SAYING THINGS ABOUT MY T.

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  26. This is definitely one of the worst things about the internet - it's so easy for people to hide behind their screens and try to put others down. Good on you for choosing not to care!

    Katie | and-katie.com

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  27. Aw my dearest TJ!! People will say negative things about you and your site out of jealousy, and there will always be people trying to tear those who are successful down. So don't pay any attention to them! I know how much it sucks and as kind human beings, of course we'll feel hurt and take it personal. But you are stronger than they are - you're SO great, so keep it up, love and screw those people!!!! :) xo!! big hug!

    Jessica
    cocoandmingo.com

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  28. oh no don't let the haters get you down. i love your blog :)

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  29. but why would anyone make fun of you
    seriously

    I love your response to this. I know of some bloggers that have gone private after looking at those stupid sites, but I'm glad that you're not taking that route *high five* you're cool <3

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  30. I am so sorry that someone commented in a mean way. That is not nice to read and really does have a huge impact on us even when we don't want it to. Just remember you are lovely. xo Heidi

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  31. Had a same experience 3 years ago and I got really angry. Don't care about those guys
    MaryFashionLove
    MaryFashionLove on Bloglovin

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  32. i am so sorry. i know that this has happened to some of my friends. and im sure it has even happened to me and i just don't get it. it always hurts, even if you try not to. i hope you have a great evening with your husband to make up for your day.

    K

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  33. You left me such a sweet comment so I headed over here to look at your blog and the first post I read is this one. After carefully scanning through more posts I can only say: You come across as a darling person. The only way to fight against the tears is to send out love and positive thoughts. I will do just that for you!

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  34. *hugs* I love your blog. I love you, girl. Never feel bad about having a negative day, but know that those negative people do not matter. I have loved connecting with you through your sweet comments and your gorgeous posts. You are the sweetest. Keep going, lovely.

    Em
    Tightrope to the Sun

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  35. you're so beautiful and remarkable and deserving of admiration. thanks for being brave and writing this post, and even more so for hitting publish.

    xo nicole
    writeslikeagirlblog.com

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  36. i really don't understand who these people are that write mean things about bloggers. It really blows my mind that they would actually take time out of their day to bash on people that they've never met. I really hope you are able to forget the things you read because sometimes words are hard to let go of. Just know that you are sweet, beautiful, and kind and have many people that do love you.

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  37. Ugh.

    Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. Or something.

    But seriously, they can sod off. You're great, lovely, kind and awesome, and that's all that matters. The problem isn't you, and I KNOW you know this.

    Hugs!

    xo

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  38. I wish I could give you a big ole hug!! I understand everyone has opinion but when people bash other people in general even worse on social media it's uncalled for. It goes back to the age old saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it all". Don't listen to the negative people who have nothing better to do than to tear someone else apart. 9 out of 10 times it's because they're unhappy with their own lives and want to take it out on someone else. I love your blog and I love how honest you are. Not a lot of people out there are like that. Thank you for keeping it real! Keep your chin, lady! You're doing a beautiful job!

    xo
    Rachel

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  39. DO NOT LISTEN TO STUPID PEOPLE. I love your site and know you are genuine! Live life and be yourself. Be proud of that!

    XO Lourdes

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  40. Good for you girl! I dont know why anyone would be so cruel and ridiculous! Keep blogging it up!

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  41. WORD! Good on you for remaining on the bright side in spite of all this negativity. On another note, I just want to quickly say that I absolutely ADORE your blog, your photos, your writing, you. There will always be people who are just plain negative, even when your wonderful personality and sincerity shine through your writing. Keep doing what you're doing TJ! We love you <3

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  42. I never understand why people waste their time being negative about other people. It's useless and it hurts. I can never understand why people are this way but the thing is... they will always be there. You wil always have those who think they are interesting by saying hurtful stuff. Haters gotta hate, and I hate the ones that do, ironic. Anyways I wanted to use the beautiful words of Ben Howard: 'keep your head up'. There are many people here who love and adore you and your blog (including me). So just focus on those people like you say ! And most importantly regardless of what everyone else thinks blog about whatever YOU want!

    Lots and lots of love from Belgium,

    Saar
    (excuse my English, I hope I didn't make any embarassing mistakes but I actually am Dutch speaking!)

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  43. Gosh, this is so sad :( TJ you are a beautiful person and your blog is consistently fabulous and amazing, take no notice of the haters!

    "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate."

    <3 xx

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  44. You are right in knowing your identity and worth is not found in what people say about you. You have eternal worth.
    Love your blog and think you're a fun, beautiful person! Keep truckin' on!

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  45. don't let the haterz get you down girl!!!!

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  46. keep doing what you are doing because you did it in a great way, your blog is so beautiful darlin!
    So I'm your newest follower and if you want I'll wait you on mine <3
    Xxx doll

    Carolina

    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

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  47. thanks for your sweet comment on my blog :) don't let people get you down. haters gonna hate! right?!

    aubri

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  48. people with negative comments don't have love in their heart, forget about them don't give me another minute of your time they aren't worth it

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  49. Haters are normally jealous people who make themselves feel better by being mean. Keep your head up!

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  50. I've never understood why people think its okay to trash talk peoples own platform for expressing their opinion. If you dont care for it or share the same ideas then don't stop by. I mean really-- there's no need to be cruel and negative. Im sorry that its a sad day!! Forget about them-- go aside and enjoy the beauty that Florida has to offer and kiss your husband because you know that those mean girls are single!! lol. {and ps..if that is you in the picture ( I cant tell) you should go brunette and never change it again--it looks amazing!!!!}

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  51. I'm sending you lots of love from MA! It's great to see that you're taking this in stride though and moving forward :)

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  52. you know what? i never understood why people feel the need to put down others ON THE INTERNET! give me a break... does it really make you feel better leaving a rude comment to someone from behind a computer screen? ugh, makes me so mad. i'm sorry you're having to go through something like that. my blog is still very small so I have yet to have something like this happen to me, but I know it's unfortunately something that comes along with blogging and in all senses it's quite frankly really, really STUPID. keep your head up and remember you're a beautiful person no matter what!

    -jenna-
    mama daze blog

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  53. I'm so sorry that you had to read negative opinions...just know that commenters here love your blog and there are far many more who like you than dislike you. Keep going!

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  54. wow I'm shocked that people can be so negative. I suppose criticism is to be expected at certain points but I never really understand why people are so mean. Perhaps they think otherwise but the way words are written or pieced together makes a difference. I'm glad you had a "cry" and are not choosing to get over it. Good for you. =)
    xo,
    nancy

    http://adoretoadorn.blogspot.com

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  55. Often happens to me too on my blog .... ignore all the negative comments dictated only by envy and malice! Be proud of your work dear!

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  56. Ignore the negative comments!! Seriously, some people need to get a life. And tomorrow WILL be a better day.

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  57. Hm. I really understand how you feel.. But.. My opinion.. Negatative comments do stupid people.. Because they didt do something and loose time only. So.. And.. All comes back to tham. People like that would be neeever succesful.. They loose only a time and dodnt work on his own. Have a nice day.

    http://www.fashiondenis.com/

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  58. Just ignore the negative comments dear, I know you are strong enough to face it, we are strong enough, just remember a good day and be happy :))

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  59. i love your blog, keep going girlie... theres more love than mean people out there :)
    -Deana, from Birds&Oxfords

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  60. Forget about the haters, darling! Your blog is an inspiration to me and many other girls out there!

    Xo, Hannah

    sweetsweetnoir.net

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  61. :(

    BOO. sometimes i sleep the best after a really long cry. silver lining perhaps.

    Your blog is amazing and so are you.

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  62. Oh TJ, I hate that people can be so awful. You're one of the sweetest girls out there. Don't let those negative comments get you down. You have so many other girls that love your blog and see you as an inspiration :)

    xo erica

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  63. people who have the time and energy to write hateful things on the internet are losers. simple as that. i honestly feel bad for them!

    you are beautiful and a wonderful creative blogger. keep your chin up!

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  64. That is such a cruel thing to do! Shame on that person!
    I can relate to what you are saying as I had to encounter this kind of negativity once as well! The comment was not pretty and that person said mean things about me and my looks! It felt horrible and it definitely hurt as I really couldn't figure out that person's motives behind it! But since then I have grown a thicker skin & those things doesn't affect me that much!
    Keep your chin up, because there are a lot of people (like me) who enjoy your blog and think you are a great person! :)

    callmemaddie.blogspot.com
    Your chance to win a dress of your own choice! (International Giveaway!)

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  65. If Im ever in town, lets be eating buddies!! Ive always enjoyed your geniune comments on my blog and friendly emails!! XOXOXOXO

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  66. Oh no! :( I'm so sorry TJ. You are such a wonderful blogger and woman, don't let them get you down!

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  67. You dear girl... you have been such an inspiration to many... those sites wish they could be half as amazing as you are:) Keep up the delightful posts and know you are loved!!!

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  68. My mom always says if people are hating on you then you are doing something right!

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